Sunday, April 25, 2010

Question #49

Are you free to give an honest "no"?

5 comments:

Pat said...

Yes, I can.

Kimberly Gauthier said...

I am free, but I still struggle with it, because no = negative = conflict, and I run from conflict.

I'm learning that this isn't the case and instead of just saying no, I'm explaining how I feel and what I think.

My boyfriend and I are house hunting so there are times when I need to say no when he wants to yell "hell, yeah" (and vice versa) and we're both learning better communication.

I'm endlessly stunned that the word no doesn't have to be followed up by a tense interaction :)

rhumen said...

i am free, but i still reserve the right depending on how i can manipulate the situation. my work is to let the manipulation go and just flow with life, but at times, i feel that i must guide the events.

sparkleplenty said...

it depends on if a person is involved that i have a difficult time saying " no " to, because of fear of abandonment...is this honest enough?

Roma said...

Lots of honest answers...

The freedom to give an honest "no" is a recent (last few years)...development...for me.

For most of my life I'm not sure I gave many honest, intentional "yes's" or "no's"—they were quick answers without a lot of thought (and plenty of fear or uncertainty built in).

Now I see that when I give an honest "no" to someone, it is not about them—it is an honest "yes" to me.